A counsellor's perspective: 8 things I wish clients knew

Whether you’re currently attending counselling, thinking about counselling, or have just wondered what it’s like, here are some insights I can share:

1)    You’re never a burden

I’m glad you’re speaking out and privileged to be with you for it. It’s not that I’m numb after years of hearing people’s stories – it’s quite the opposite. I can share your upsetting memories and scary thoughts, and join you in the distressing feelings, but it won’t burden me.

2)    I don’t make assumptions and I don’t know more than you

I know how to explore the things you choose to share. However, I don’t assume I know more than you tell me and won’t analyse anything without your input.

3)    A lot goes into every session

Even though sessions may seem just like natural conversations, there’s a lot happening behind the scenes. I’m making sure I’m focused on what you want to get out of it, using approaches that are effective for you, and keeping an eye on the time so we don’t have to finish abruptly. You’re able to relax because it’s my job to make sure we have a good direction.

4)    I question myself and hope I’m doing well enough for you

I question whether I’m meeting your needs, and whether I’ve missed anything or had a moment of communicating poorly. I often think of things I could have done better and make sure I take that into your next session. 

5)    You can ask questions

Please ask about my qualifications, training, experience and my capacity to understand your challenges if it’s on your mind. Please also ask the questions that don't want to ask anyone else, for fear of what they’ll think.

6)    I’m just as vulnerable as anyone else

Counsellors are just as likely as anyone to experience things like conflict, relationship breakdown, anxiety, loneliness or general life stress. Knowledge about challenges and about therapy doesn’t make us immune.

7)    I care about my clients and you are never “just another client”

Whether you’re the first or the sixth client of the day, the session is uniquely yours and I’m glad to be picking up where we left off. In between sessions, I’m often reminded of something we talked about and will wonder how you are and look forward to our next one.

8)    I want to hear if the sessions don’t feel right for you

If you’re not feeling understood, not finding it useful, or wish we were taking a different direction, I’ll be glad you told me. I want to correct this for you or figure out what else is needed. A moment of tough honesty followed by correction can actually make our sessions more meaningful. It builds trust that you are safe and important.

DISCLAIMER: This article is a subjective piece of writing based on the views, experiences and therapeutic approaches of the author at the time of publishing.